It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
