I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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