I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
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I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
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The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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