im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I want to fling myself into the sun
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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