Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
