It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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