I heard we made out
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
