they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
