Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
