if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
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