do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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