Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize
