This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
