someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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