I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I want a musical about memes.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
