need another drink. this is the easiest way
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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