She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
