I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
