So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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