i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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