I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
