And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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