New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
