Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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