Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
