he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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