I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
