You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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