I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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