Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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