i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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