this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
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he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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