Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
