once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
