Kiss
Puke
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
