she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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