He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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