Nicole vs. Life
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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