About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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