I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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