Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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