I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
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At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
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Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on