her vagine was all disorganized.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
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Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
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I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.