Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
We need to rekindle our bromance
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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