I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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