Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
