3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
He shit in the fireplace
i black out too much to be "responsible"
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
