so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
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I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
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Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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