You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
