Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize