i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
worst night to have a conscience
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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