New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
