do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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