Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
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we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
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You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
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