hell yes lets make some ravioli
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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