Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
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