so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
