WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
