Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
